Paul Fericano: California Poets Part 9, Five Poems

Paul Fericano (Photo by Ted Bell)

December 22nd, 2025

California Poets: Part IX

Paul Fericano

Five Poems

THE MAN WHO CHANNELS BARBIE

                                              persona non grata

Perhaps you think that any fool can be a

Man but do you have any idea what a true

Man is a man of men a professional man    

Ordained by verdict a trained specialist a

Dedicated authority with past histories

Analyzed for generations back long before

Even I was given the honor of actually

Being allowed to make mistakes and yes

Mistakes were made but even a butcher  

Needs a line of work to understand what he   

Must never regret if I were to be born a

Thousand times over I would be a thousand  

Times what I already am what I have already   

Been what I will always be willing to re-   

Draw lines on maps make horrible choices

Less difficult to execute I tell you I would   

Hand my credentials back without pause if  

They were not already revoked for I have no   

More interest in those who are dead only in

Those who will soon join them with the

Aid of a man a right man who in the end

Will talk yes even I will talk but who will    

Not be held accountable even if somebody

Like you finds out how all this happened

MORE BARRELS OF BOURBON THAN PEOPLE

                                                              persona non grata

I could be wrong but ever since they increased my Clozaril

I haven't had much interest in taking sides though I know

One of the nurses on this floor stole my watch did I tell you

That the food in here would make a hog gag wait there

Goes one now sure I like jam on my cornbread they serve

It with maple syrup every Wednesday I’m telling you the

Time has come when the darkies have to part and the TV

Is always on tornadoes thunderstorms flooding my old

Kentucky home what time do you have they’re supposed

To change this damn thing every hour look there goes

Another one they hunt no more for the possum and the

Coon I think I’m going to switch states instead of parties

SUICIDE POEM WRITTEN IN COUPLETS

                                                 persona non grata

Higher education is okay for some but it   

Has limits and let’s be practical it isn’t

Something you learn you either have it  

Or you don’t if we can’t make it harder   

For certain people to get into college  

How can we expect to make it easier

For certain others to obtain grants win 

Scholarships study abroad we can’t all   

Be idealists teachers constantly com-

Plaining making trouble nitpicking this

That class size testing same ones same

Shit always moaning whining never

Enough money for things pens paper

Pencils books hot lunches does anyone  

Even remember how to use a pencil I

Sure don’t life is a zero-sum game you 

Get used to it fortunately I won’t have

To anymore since by the time you read  

This poem I’ll already be dead although

That may depend on your reading level

THE SPEAKER OWNS HIS NAME

                                  persona non grata

As I stand here today I am reminded to 

Be resolute in my duty and to not dither    

My support for every righteous act that

Does not obligate to truth that does not

Pledge to reason that does not submit to 

The rule of law for in and with all things   

I will parse no words to codify not one

Vote of confidence but rather enlighten 

More incredible as Jesus once taught me

More unbelievable in my faith the very 

Soul of this grand old party favored in

The tradition that fakes and takes and

Shakes and bakes and moves me back

Until my name spoken in jest purges 

The barroom dick joke that grows more

Flaccid with the passing of my parade

A QUANTUM THEORY OF GRAVITY

                                         persona non grata

There is this place I go to listen sometimes

Where effective altruism is on tap people

Hold forth on stools with utmost importance 

Degrees computer science economics public

Policy communications all part and particle 

Multiple waves alarming sobriety but here’s   

The catch if I could actually be in two places 

At once neither one of them would be here 

Author Bio:

Paul Fericano is a poet, writer, and socio-political satirist. He is the editor and publisher of Yossarian Universal News Service (YU News), a parody news and information syndicate founded in 1980, and the instigator of the infamous Howitzer Prize hoax (1982). He is the author of several books including “The Hollywood Catechism” (Silver Birch Press, 2015), and “Things That Go Trump in the Night” (Poems-For-All Press, 2019), winner of the 2020 Bulitzer Prize. His word-for-word parody of Allen Ginsberg’s poem “Howl” (“Howl of Lon Chaney, Jr”), was awarded a Mark Fischer Poetry Prize in 2015 by the Telluride Institute. Born and raised in San Francisco, he makes his home on the San Francisco Peninsula. Website: yunews.com /  Bluesky: @yunews.bsky.social